A Look into a Maple Leafs Fan's Mind Leading up to Game 7 Tonight

Game seven. There might not be two words in the English language that make me cringe more. Especially when you add in, in Boston. Its enough to turn any loyal fan into a nervous wreck. That is how I will be approaching game seven tonight. A nervous wreck. Game four and game six seem like light years away right now. The hours leading up to those games with excitement and cautious optimism have now been replaced with every bad memory that we as fans have been trying to suppress from years past. We always say “this year is different”, however this is often accompanied by the snickering or laughter of whichever fan of another franchise we are speaking with. The fact of the matter is we may say that on the outside, but on the inside we are scared shitless of what is to come.

I cannot speak for the generations before me and I realize you have been suffering since ’67 and fuck Kerry Fraser for missing that call on Gretzky in ‘93. But if you’re a millennial like myself I can remember about as far back as the 2003-2004 game 6 overtime loss when Jeremy Roenick scored the game winner and began gleefully, high-step running on the ice. What 12 year old me never understood was to cherish that, as it would be the last time we would make an appearance in the second round. So let’s fast forward through many seasons of turmoil and despair to our return to the playoffs in 2012-2013.

If we would have known how it would play out that year, I am sure ⁹⁹⁄₁₀₀ Leaf fans would have just taken a pass and left the return to the playoffs for another year instead of suffering through what came to be known as one of the greatest post season collapses in sports history. I remember not being able to fathom a conversation about it for months after the matter and avoided any news or discussions about hockey like the plague. The other 1 percent of you are psychopaths. Every fan base has gotta have some psychopaths I guess right? Especially a fan base that has lost for over 50 years.

You may ask, what if a Leaf fan was lucky enough to miss that meltdown? Don’t worry because the last two years of playoff appearances leading up to this one would be more than enough to fuck with even the most level headed of fans. Take our first round run against the President Cup winning Washington Capitals in 2016-2017. The collapse we went through in 2012-2013 has now braced us for whatever happens against this Capitals team right? Coming in as underdogs, we should just be happy to hang with them. However, the Leafs do what they do best and give us all hope and reasons to believe we can win the series when every game in the series is decided by one goal and five of the six go to overtime. At this point we have decided sixty minutes isn’t enough time to damage ourselves. We have become sadistic fans where all of the binge drinking, tv breaking, coffee table flipping behaviour just cannot be fit into 60 minutes. So why not lose in game 6 overtime, at home, 2-1. Capping off an incredible series where we thought me might actually flip the script on the best team in the regular season.

Okay back in the playoffs 2017-2018. New year, nothing can break us now. Another year of experience for the boys, yes we have had some bad luck the past two appearances, but this is where we get our revenge on Boston…Game seven again, in Boston. We are going into the third period up 4-3. We have learned from the past and will be able to hold on this time we tell ourselves… 4 unanswered goals from Boston in the 3rd for a final score of 7-4. Jake Gardiner goes -5 and unfortunately for him will probably never recover from that performance in the eyes of many Leaf fans. I remember the moment that 5th goal went in and my mind went straight into trying to protect myself for what would come next. I began slamming drinks as fast as the server would bring them to me … I don’t remember how I got home that night.

This brings us to present day. Game 7, in Boston. Third time in the past seven seasons that our first round of the playoffs will be determined at TD Garden. If we win tonight it won’t be revenge as they would still have beat us two of the past three times in recent history. It would be more of a “finally” kind of deal. However, if we lose…I’m not even prepared to go there or think like that. Not to say, I am extremely confident we are going to win either. I don’t know what to say. And this is the fucked up conundrum going on in Leaf fans heads today leading up to the game. I cannot come to grips with myself to say “this year will be different” anymore as that would be naïve. I can’t really say I’m excited either because tonight might be the last time we see this rendition of the team play together before they are dismantled by the vice grips of the salary cap this offseason. All I can really say is I hope and pray that they beat the living shit out of Boston in their own barn tonight. As I know there would be no better solution in many Leafs fans minds in recovering from this self-induced PTSD that has formed over the years and turning over a new leaf.